Sitting out Back

 

 

Sitting out back in the smell of the Maryland

Mud, on a May night where it was

          Rain in the air all day, but none on the ground,

The kind of night of a day that kills the grass

Because the rain that falls all winter has left the ground

          And now it’s dry and getting hot, even late

At night, I remember I live in a swamp,

In a state near a bay that’s near an ocean,

In the air which smells of mud and dying grass,

And know the real story, that only one I’ll know

Is this one about my life in Maryland,

The man who sits outside and thinks about ground

And grass and swamps and oceans, the Maryland

Of a couple of beers and staying up too late

          And thoughts of the people I know

In a combination of people and thoughts only I know.

 

I sit and lean my head over the deck and let my eyes

          Go slack and blur and I stare into the trees

          Of the house down below ours on this hill,

My eyes don’t cross but they lose focus and it swims

Together, the heavy branches of the trees on the hill

And the lights of the house below us, the lights swim

          Through the black cloud the dark green trees

          Make when they swim together, in my eyes

The lights below us become like stars, the pattern of two lights

          Is like the start of an earthly constellation only

          I will ever know, and I tilt up my head for good luck

Back at the sky which is thick with clouds but city-lit,

          And salmon-pink colored, but so thick no stars light.

 

And it seems that only I have known misfortune in this world,

          The pains and the mis-steps and the blown shit

          That would bring a person outside on a damp cloudy night,

And in sadness I think up and down my time zone

          About my loved ones in Pennsylvania living

          In a little gap between a chain of mountains

 

In a tiny town where you don’t talk much except about

          What happened in town, which ain’t much,

          So you don’t talk much, and on up into New Jersey

Which seems to thrive on New York City’s fumes,

          And about New York City where I can’t think about

          Much in terms of living, all the street shit

You put up with, all the voices and details and the shit

That goes along with making ends meet there so there’s some living.

 

Below me somewhere like a coral, the blossom

          Of a peony hangs so heavy it scares off the birds.

          One who kept its distance all day, a cardinal,

Weeps sadly from across the street for all it will never know.

          My wife like an inventor will see out the window

The flower and the riot of its petals, and it will not be alone

When she brings it inside, she will bridge the distance

          I find impossible, between sitting, seeing, thinking to know

          And the haughty bowl of wine in air the blossoms

Will make upon the fireplace, teeming further in the window

          So that the pink and white reflection in the glass stops birds.

          And who am I to go on like this alone,

The words and what they make, lined up and folded, the distance

Between a blossom from my night outside, and here, in her heart?