Valentine From Hell

So I have jammed my paw

In the kitchen drain’s egg-slimed maw:

A cobalt-blue chunk of gravel

Has gummed up the Dispose-All

And now it just seems a bit much,

The parental life, married curfew,

Bliss in the suburbs with the catch

That all four compass points ensnare you:

West to Rockville’s strip-mall chic,

East by the rain-drain of Sligo Creek,

Olney runs north its bare blank miles,

And south, Silver Spring’s faux style.

It’s the daily moment when I think

Gotta get out, give it all up.

A thought that deepens my funk,

Brooding, having let go my grip

On the million seconds of the day –

The children, the boss, the house.

You can’t seem to find that other guy,

The one you married. Who’s the cooz

Who looks like he’s listening, but in fact’s

In outer space? Superman with a vacuum,

Kicking dust butt, never to relax —

Fuck it all, was this really my dream?

Dry lip-peck at dawn.

We’ve got the kids’ every pain,

24-7 of their screaming need—

What else between us and the void?

Then, fist still caught, sun-blind,

Over my shoulder I see you

A navel orange in your hand,

In a beam of light in the dining room.

You gently guide your thumbnail

Under the skin, and a fine mist

Mills up toward the sun from the torn peel,

A silver-sharp cloud of bright dust.

My hand still plunged to the wrist

Like I’m stopping up the leak

Of my fancies as they passed,

I out-think despair. Like

I’d have a richer life without

You, the kids, my chosen routine.

Like the world made me this out of spite.

Like someone else floats beneath my skin

Just out of my sight in the mirror.

Let’s show him, Captain Marvel must have said.

Let’s give him what he goes for.

So here I am. And so they did.