Valentine From Hell
So I have jammed my paw
In the kitchen drainís egg-slimed maw:
A cobalt-blue chunk of gravel
Has gummed up the Dispose-All
And now it just seems a bit much,
The parental life, married curfew,
Bliss in the suburbs with the catch
That all four compass points ensnare you:
East by the rain-drain of Sligo Creek,
Olney runs north its bare blank miles,
Itís the daily moment when I think
Gotta get out, give it all up.
A thought that deepens my funk,
Brooding, having let go my grip
On the million seconds of the day Ė
The children, the boss, the house.
You canít seem to find that other guy,
The one you married.† Whoís the cooz
Who looks like heís listening, but in factís
In outer space?† Superman with a vacuum,
Kicking dust butt, never to relax ó
Fuck it all, was this really my dream?
Dry lip-peck at dawn.
Weíve got the kidsí every pain,
24-7 of their screaming needó
What else between us and the void?
Then, fist still caught, sun-blind,
Over my shoulder I see you
A navel orange in your hand,
In a beam of light in the dining room.
You gently guide your thumbnail
Under the skin, and a fine mist
Mills up toward the sun from the torn peel,
A silver-sharp cloud of bright dust.
My hand still plunged to the wrist
Like Iím stopping up the leak
Of my fancies as they passed,
I out-think despair. Like
Iíd have a richer life without
You, the kids, my chosen routine.
Like the world made me this out of spite.
Like someone else floats beneath my skin
Just out of my sight in the mirror.
Letís show him, Captain Marvel must have said.
Letís give him what he goes for.
So here I am.† And so they did.